Well, this is insane. I feel like a broken clock or something, the way horrid things make me smile. It's as if these two powerful, mirrored emotions get confused in my mind. And when I hear her insulting or teasing someone I smile, wanting to smash my fist into something. I want to scream and rage, but I can barely keep from laughing instead. It is interesting how their relationship can give me insight into my own relationship with her. And her relationship with her mother. I feel awful really, but I was entranced by her yelling. How different she can be. Maybe I'm just soft and that is why… what? Not that she doesn't treat me the same way whenever she wants. Only I can snap back at her or yell too. Now she just feels more dependent on me or sometimes even scared or inferior when it comes to devices and modern living, that's all. I feel sick.